I was so inspired by the #philbitescomp twitter contest that I wrote a short history of philosophy in tweetable fragments of songs.

Parmenides’ lament: I guess it will make a change when things stop changing

Heracleitus’ blues: I cried you the same river thrice

Plato’s polka: two steps out of the cave and look at what you’re doing

Descartes’ swan song: unbidden unwelcome it counts yet for a penny I perish

Bishop Berkeley’s soccer fan chant: Hey Samuel Johnson You’re kicking that rock in my mind

Locke’s lullaby: You’ve licked your plate clean And now what do you know?

Kant’s shanty: it’s a long way from first principles

Voltaire’s spiritual: Think low sweet chariot Believe in Him and don’t cheat me

Hegel’s Carroll: Give up the ghosts of times past Master and slave, together at last

Marx’s revolutionary song: I saw you coming Ford, a mile away But Lenin came out of left field

Heidegger’s Rap: With all my sein, I’ll do my zeit Those sons of canines might not bite

Derrida and Wittgenstein’s duet: Brick by brick move by move you say circuses I say no more

High school philosophy teacher’s tattoo: Be rational you scabs